Bringing Her Happiness
by RicksIlsa
Summary: Challenge response. A fic using 2 combined prompts: Happiness and I'm Bringing it. Regina's POV on the most important day of her Storybrooke life.


I know, it's not WTLC or Lonely... but it is a challenge response that might kind of fit in with my POV series. :D

Regina was worried. She paced the hall in her mansion stopping periodically to glare at the clock. It was moving both too slow and too fast.

Her hand unconsciously moved to the ring she wore around her neck. The warmth of that one remaining piece of magic in her life helped soothe the fears and allowed the excitement and anticipation take over again.

Regina walked back up the stairs surveying her preparations for the millionth time. Everything was perfectly in place with not a speck of dust to be seen. She sat in a new chair in the middle of the room she had spent months decorating and redecorating.

Sure, she could have hired someone else to do it, but that idea just felt wrong. She had found out fast though, just how out of practice she was when it came to doing anything without having magic to help. Sanding, stenciling, painting, and dozen other crafts that had come so natural to her younger hands now nearly drove her to tears of frustration. Home Depot was very lucky that she didn't have any curses available to send their way for all the 'help' they had given her.

The rising sun filtered through the sheer curtain covering the East facing windows and filled the room with a golden glow. It highlighted the hand painted pictures that decorated the wall. Her favorite was the apple tree. Her hand moved again to the ring at her neck and for a moment she was back there with him under their tree, sharing their first kiss...

The clock in the hall sounded and Regina jerked awake. She hadn't meant to sleep, it was almost time...

She had barely had time to make herself presentable before the door bell rang.

On the outside, Regina Mills seemed confidant and in charge. But inside, her stomach was in a knot as all these different emotions she hadn't felt in years threatened to consume her. It was for this very reason she had waited so long to do this.

From the moment she had chosen to sacrifice her own father for the curse, she had planned this. Putting it off for so long meant it almost hadn't happened. Luckily Mr. Gold had been there to make sure it had.

Unable to stall any longer, Regina took a deep breath, put on her most winning smile and opened the door.

Hours later she was nearly sobbing with frustration. She hadn't expected it to be easy, but had never imagined it would be this hard.

Henry was barely a week old and had apparently cried the whole drive out to Regina's house. The tired social worker had practically thrown the baby at her and left as fast as she could.

His screams were piercing and nothing Regina tried seemed to placate him. It would be blessedly quiet for the few minutes he would take his bottle, but less than ten minutes later everything would come back up all over her silk shirt. And then the screaming would begin all over again.

She had no experience with colicky infants or even babies in general. All the books she had read, and even now consulted, were of no help to her at all.

Still, her pride would not allow her to call anyone for help. No, it was more than just pride. When Regina herself was an infant, her mother had put her in the care of a wet nurse and would only come 'visit' her daughter every few weeks.

Regina herself was in no way a saint. She had done some truly terrible things in her life, but little Henry here was how she would redeem herself. She would earn his love and be worthy of it. She would not be like her mother.

With renewed strength, Regina re-entered the 'battle' of learning how to take care of Henry. Hours of tears, fitful cat naps, smelly bottles, and diaper changes passed and in the wee hours of the morning, her son finally fell into a peaceful sleep.

Regina once again found herself sleeping in the rocking chair. It was not the chiming of the clock that woke her this time, but Henry's unpleasant shrieking.

His cries were different this morning though. Yesterday they had seem to resonate pain and fear, today it was more hunger and comfort.

Regina diligently changed and fed him, glad to see only a little spit-up with this feeding. He was fussing and fidgeting though, so she laid him in his crib hoping to grab a few more hours of sleep.

As soon as she stepped back the shrieking returned full force and Regina started to cry.

Her hand went to the ring at her neck, desperate for the warmth she had felt yesterday.

"I don't know what to do," she admitted allowed as the silent tears continued to roll down her checks.

She could hear Daniel's laugh in her head.

_"Yes, you do."_

"No, I don't. Help me!" She pleaded.

_"Just love him."_

Her eyes snapped open and she stared around the room in annoyance.

"Love him? How could I not love him! I've loved him since I first planned this life for myself!" Her eyes lingered on the walls, the rugs, the crib...

All the hours of hard work she had put in to making the perfect nursery for her son was a testament to that love.

Again, she heard Daniel laugh.

_"Just love Him, Regina. Love Henry."_

And suddenly she understood.

She didn't love Henry. She loved the idea of him. He was her salvation and penance, a living memorial to her loved ones that had gone on to whatever awaited one after this life. He was her redemption, and the product of years of planning, hoping, and wishing. But he couldn't be these things yet. Today, he was just a baby. And he would never be what she needed unless she became what he needed first.

The glow of sunrise washed over the room as Regina went back to the crib. She gazed down at the red-faced squalling infant and just watched him for a moment.

Tenderly, she scooped him up and held him close, shushing him.

His cries quieted a little, but didn't stop.

Regina began to hum _Brahms's Lullaby_ as she walked back to the rocking chair and sat down.

Henry stopped crying and gazed up her, seemingly mesmerized by her voice.

She traced his face with a gentle finger, laughing softly when his tiny hand grabbed it in a tight grip.

Regina rocked and hummed until Henry could no longer keep his eyes open.

She sat holding him for a very long time studying his face, listening to his breaths, and revealing in his warmth.

A tear slipped out and splashed onto his forehead and she bent down to kiss it away.

"I love you, Henry," she murmured, feeling a burst of indescribable joy in her heart.

She gave a slight gasp at the sensation and hear Daniel's laugh again.

Regina smiled. Of all the things she had expected Henry to bring her, she had never even considered that happiness would be among them.

End


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